a southern gal in the north

You know when people say “if i had only known then what i would go thru…” that’s how i feel. August 29th – my personal d-day – not only was it the day of my move after 15 years in a small apt crammed to the gills – but it was also the day Katrina destroyed New Orleans and the Gulf Coast were i grew up and had family living there. I had no idea that three months later I would still be reeling from those two events as well as a surgery that had been very scary for me (not a life threatening event). I had never had surgery – and this one involved one of my senses that is dear to me as a musician. The good news is that now – months later – the operation was a success and the outcome is very good!

i wish i could say the same for my unpacking! slowly i trudge along – part of the hold up has been the construction of much needed storage in this very storage-challenged apt. I knew it about the apt when i made the decision to move there were other reasons to take the apt – but what i didnt realize was that it would be months before i would get all the work done and still be unpacking. however, the other good news is that i found a FABULOUS carpenter and he has continued to come back (!) and we have created some really good solutions to the challenges. NOW i just need to finish unpacking!

Its not all bad – the Kitchen and Bathroom have been done except for a few minor things (touch up painting and electrical work in the kitchen-new ceiling light. The Music room – one of the main reasons i took this apt (its the front room and faces the front porch and street) – is unpacked and set up – EXCEPT for the clothes on the piano and in boxes -which i am in the midst of sorting thru and give away/store/keep to wear. And that has to happen soon because when I returned from medical leave, i had been moved to a new group in the dept and asked to work a new schedule – now i go in late morning and finish early evening, just in time to get to any concerts/operas thank goodness! this schedule means that i can get in a couple of hours of practicing in the early am. we are talking 7is am ! i first had to check with my upstairs neighbors – their bedroom is just on top of my music room – however, they were lovely about it. she has to be at work for 8 am and he is in grad school so she was glad that he would be motivated to get out of bed. of course this first week of the schedule i have come down with a blazing cold – and have been sleeping in in the mornings. but next week! monday morning i start – its been …. well, a reallllly long time since i had a daily practice time as well as a piano and a decent piano to do that – in fact this is the FIRST Music Room and decent piano I have ever had! so i guess i need to find a teacher! anyone know any good piano teachers in westchester? it will be interesting to see how it goes especially since i know there is a way to go before i get my chops back – well, it will be an adventure.

Oh, and to help me and inspire me – i see Richard Goode on Friday at Carnegie Hall – my former nyc piano teacher was a friend of his and we used to go to and discuss his concerts – so i am looking forward to seeing/hearing him again.

You know when people say "if i had only known then what i would go thru…" that's how i feel. August 29th – my personal d-day – not only was it the day of my move after 15 years in a small apt crammed to the gills – but it was also the day Katrina destroyed New Orleans and the Gulf Coast were i grew up and had family living there. I had no idea that three months later I would still be reeling from those two events as well as a surgery that had been very scary for me (not a life threatening event). I had never had surgery – and this one involved one of my senses that is dear to me as a musician. The good news is that now – months later – the operation was a success and the outcome is very good!

i wish i could say the same for my unpacking! slowly i trudge along – part of the hold up has been the construction of much needed storage in this very storage-challenged apt. I knew it about the apt when i made the decision to move there were other reasons to take the apt – but what i didnt realize was that it would be months before i would get all the work done and still be unpacking. however, the other good news is that i found a FABULOUS carpenter and he has continued to come back (!) and we have created some really good solutions to the challenges. NOW i just need to finish unpacking!

Its not all bad – the Kitchen and Bathroom have been done [in fact were the first to be finished] except for some minor things like some touchup painting in the bathroom; the kitchen needs some electrical work – taking down a florescent light fixture and putting in a ceiling light/fan (10 foot ceilings) and restain/paint the kitchen floor.

The Music room – one of the main reasons i took this apt (its the front room and faces the front porch and street) – is unpacked and set up – EXCEPT for the clothes on the piano and in boxes -which i am in the midst of sorting thru and give away/store/keep to wear.

The Study/office – just finished adding more shelves to a built in closet last week and now i can order a few more bookcases (more shelves!) and magazine boxes (for all those knitting, gardening and music magazines) and sort out all my magazines (for reference), sewing fabrics and supplies (cant wait to be able to sew again!) and organize my yarn and knitting supplies.

This will be fun to organize – i have a closet with doors that i can arrange as much yarn as i can fit in and the rest can go in the basement storage area (yet to be organized… on the last run to Home Depot, we picked up cinder blocks so I can create shelves for books and yarn, etc. A good weekend project during the cold winter.)

What I am still coming to terms with is that it IS taking this long to unpack and organize – but i am having to give up feeling guilty about it – after all its not the end of the world – and ill get it done as fast as i can. especially now that i am back working. and when i am feeling better, i will start practicing the piano. boy, its been a long time since i have had the time, space and a decent piano to do that – in fact this is the FIRST Music Room and decent piano I have ever had! I cant wait to get going. and yet here today, i am home with a full blown cold – after struggling into work for mon and tue – i am in the constant sneezing/coughing mode today. i have spent the whole day at the computer logged into my work's computer system working from home. sigh.

Its also interesting to get used to a whole new commute and schedule – i live up the Hudson River now and take Metro-North to Grand Central now and then hike up Madison Ave to my firm's offices. The good news is that even with the train fare, my total monthly expense for apt and train is still less than i paid for the tiny apt alone in brooklyn. its been a little frustrating but i think i have finally figured out the trains i will be taking and the exits and which one is the best for me to take to leave and which is the best one to take to enter the station (GCT is pretty big!)

and so now that i am getting into a regular schedule (and that of course is the hard part of moving and also of something like surgery) i want to start knitting again. in fact both days this week as i walked to the train in the morning, i regretted not having something to knit. my commute is not that long – about 40 mins on the train but its enough to get a bit done and as i have NOT KNIT since before the move (yikes) i am desperately behind in presents. and now have my two nephews living near – one is one mile away and the other is in manhattan! so if i get myself organized, i should be able to churn out sweaters – maybe not to the level of Wendy's production – but more than nothing (which is the status now).

actually i need to start a present for dear mom – her combined bday/christmas present. i'll see if i have the right yarn, if not ill order it from ELANN (the best internet yarn website , non?)

and it will be fun to rediscover my yarn and knitting – i have missed it!

Astrologically speaking, the Sun stands for your inner nature and stamps your innermost character. With slinky Scorpio as your sign, the Sun blazed in a passionate water sign in the zodiac on your birthday. Scorpio, the eighth sign of the Zodiac, is feminine, ruled by fierce Mars, the warrior planet and dark Pluto, the planet of transformation. A fixed (strong and solid) sign, Scorpio governs will and authority. Scorpio people are passionate and emotional, with very deep feelings. Although you are a loyal and dedicated friend, you are fiercely competitive, subject to fits of vindictive jealousy and can be quite manipulative in pursuit of your goals.

Symbols for Scorpio are the scorpion, a ground-dwelling killer with a poisonous sting in its tail and the eagle, a far-seeing predator soaring above petty problems into the spiritual sky. Scorpio’s real involvement is not primarily based on love or even pleasure, but on the control and understanding of human emotions and the role they play in the mysterious processes of life and death. Though you may not spend your life pondering the mysteries of life and death, you are inquisitive and probing, fascinated with how things and people work. Your mental and physical powers of recuperation are remarkable — and truly evolved (eagle) Scorpios can learn to use their power to help and inspire others.

Stamina and Tenacity
Determined Scorpio can be rather stubborn and resistant to imposed changes. In many ways this is a plus, for it gives you the stamina to accomplish things in life, due to your tenacity. On the surface you may seem easy-going, congenial, and gregarious, but you are also extremely tenacious with a need to manipulate and control your situations.

Keys to your success are a strong will and the ability to get to the bottom of things. You want answers and will doggedly persist until you get them.

The fiery energy of Mars shines out when you are enthusiastic; it attracts and inspires others. Your intensity can be overwhelming, but also subtle, for your considerable energy is not aroused or employed just to have something to do — as is often the case with Aries, the other Mars-ruled personality. Unlike Aries, Scorpio is not openly combative, unless it becomes necessary. Your privacy is tightly protected, so others only get to know you up to a point. You may not show any sign of inner struggle, but when you are after something (or someone) your determination is fierce — and should you not be favoured in the outcome, you are neither a willing nor a gracious loser. Nevertheless, you are not arrogant, being genuinely interested in others and what they have to say, although you often exhibit a self-sufficiency which implies there isn’t much you don’t already know.

Deepest Mysteries
The transformative energy of Pluto motivates you, as you delve into the deepest mysteries of life. Whether you are trying to get to the bottom of a murder, or some heinous crime, or whether you are saving a life through your surgical skills, or pursuing a meditative magical mystery tour, you characteristically seek to uncover the truth or to transform raw materials into things of great power and beauty. Relationships are not exempt from this probing, so anyone involved with you must prepare for profound changes in themselves, their mysterious partner and the relationship itself.

Emotions govern your first reactions to every experience in life. Although instinctive emotions generate the strongest motivations for your behaviour, you are not prone to wearing your heart on your sleeve (unlike the other Water Signs, those feeling-oriented Cancerians and Pisceans). You need to dominate relationships and rarely display your true feelings, holding back something of yourself, even at your most open and communicative moments. Although you may not intentionally set out to be mysterious, you manage to appear enigmatic anyway. You hate being crossed or manipulated, and can react to such treatment with sarcasm and vengefulness.

Strong Constitution
Scorpio rules the reproductive organs and excretory system, so those with Scorpio active in their charts suffer headaches, infections and fevers, along with various illnesses to do with what used to be called the secret parts. You have, however, a strong constitution and can usually overcome your problems, many of which are of your own making, due to your clandestine activities.

Scorpio colours are red, black, midnight blue, and emerald green. Scorpio rules metallic iron and your birthstone is the topaz. Topaz, one of the hardest minerals, cannot be cut with a knife. It is yet another representation of the impenetrable Scorpio nature. Scorpio flowers include the anemone, heather, and gardenia.

the first day back since Sept 21st… the longest i have EVER gone without working (since i was about 15).  the last two months have been very eventful and full of stress of a personal nature – the surgery and the effects of Katrina on my sister and all my extended family and friends in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast.  And the added stress of the move on the day of Katrina.

anyway so today i went back to the job….anxious about what it would be like – you know, did they decide they didn’t need me? eliminate my job and now I’m stuffing envelopes?  not much sleep last night at this place – except by my cats who kept looking at me as if to say – what the h$%K are you doing up at 3 am eating ice cream (it was my supper, so kill me! and shhhh don’t tell Hannah and Sophie).

remember that movie ‘While You Were Sleeping"?  that’s how i feel about today – so while I was "recuperating", i was promoted.    huh, yeah – really.  i report to a new manager in a different department and its a promotion (money TBD this week) and its actually a job i had had a 10 minutes conversation about with that manager in AUGUST and had given up on its ever happening.

totally 180 degrees from what i feared would happen – and yes there is that word – fear.  and lookie, today it didn’t win – and don’t pinch me now because i am afraid i am dreaming, keep reading. 

remember when i started looking for the new home?  that was step one in my Life Master Plan.  and step two was to buy a decent GOOD grand piano – which i had wanted ALL MY LIFE and a friend sold me his.  and step three was to have the surgery (which i had FEARED for several years) and i did and guess what – the doctor says i am almost 100% recovered and its the best result possible for this surgery!  and step four – yup – get a new job.  i am almost afraid (oops there’s that word) to write out step five and six – and yes, i am not going to – at least not today – no need to tempt fates or be greedy – for i feel as if my cup truly runneth over for now. 

five and six can sit quietly in my soul for now – i am content today with my riches.

oh and the cherry on the whipped cream on top of the banana and choc syrup and ice cream – my new manager says i can choose my hours – as in if i want to come in later (as in 10-6 or 11-7) he would be fine as he would like to stagger coverage i can decide and let him know… this could mean that i could actually get up and PRACTICE the piano before going to work … i am still in shock over this and it fell unbidden into my laps. 

oh and guess what – Wednesday is my birthday AND a full moon.   

excuse me while i go quietly explode…

dare i say that the end may be in sight?  i shouldnt say it too loudly for the house goddesses will hear.. and we dont want to tempt them!

its been a whirlwind time lately – with my mom visiting for two weeks and lots of family and cultural activities with et al.  meanwhile, my carpenter, Bernhard Koenig, (G*D love him) and i have been working on all kinds of projects transforming the apt into a cozy comfortable and storage-filled home (i should go on Mission Organization and give tips!).  we are nearing the finish line i hope!  (for my checkbook’s sake alone).  unpacking and organizing and arranging and figuring out what goes where and … etc.  i still feel as if i am chipping away at an iceberg … i guess only when the last box is gone will i feel more settled.

this move is part of a master plan  that has grown out of a long period of aimlessness after a personal crisis several years ago.  the difference now of having some ideas of what i want to accomplish personally – not dependent on others – is relieving and invigorating if scary as h#$l.   

i adore my nephew, as he is approaching two in January is adorable – i could watch him for hours – the learning at this stage is fascinating and wondrous – he is amazing – i know, all two year olds are – but he is especially – everything is so NOW – i forgot how children live IN THE MOMENT until i have spent so much time recently with him… its all SO fluid – the happiness and joy of a sippy cup can disolve in an INSTANT to tears if something happens that displeases.  he is beginning to exert control – sit here he points, not there – and also to respond to all of us in his life.  i love asking him questions and getting his "language" in his answers – the comprehension is there if the vocabulary isnt yet – however, it grows with leaps and bounds every day.

one of my favorite memories is of the end of a very long sunday – we had been in the city (brunch with a large party of family and then to my brotherinlaw’s studio and then playing in the park and then to whole foods and then to a family partyof my brotherinlaw’s- it had been almost 10 hours and as my sister dropped me off and i got out of the car – he sobbed to see me go – my heart melted when she told me the next day – to be a part of a child’s life, i think, is one of the joys of living.   

what’s new?

the surgery went well (so the surgeon said-he was very pleased).  it will be a while before the final results are in – the healing takes a couple of months.  first test will be in a few weeks and then we will know how successful the operation was. 

the whole operation experience (it was an outpatient facility) (and my first ever!) was wierd – someday i will write it up – i remember every minute of it.  luckily i had a sister with me and was glad for i was rather looped afterwards on the sedative and really spaced for the next 24 hours.  the antibiotics KNOCKED me out for the week i had to take them – ugh.  i was a walking zombie and it took several days after the last one to work thru my body for me to feel half normal again.  i dont advise doing what i did – move and then have an operation where you end up sitting half dead on a sofa in an apartment FULL of full boxes stacked everywhere and nothing of your own stuff to comfort you around you.   i was so out of it that i couldnt even watch tv  (even hgtv was annoying). 

and then i couldnt do any lifting or moving heavy objects due to the operation for the next two weeks (one week as a zombie – two to recover).  so forget about much unpacking – i did find a FABULOUS carpenter/handyman and last week he was here four days and we did a lot of work on the apt.  that’s the other frustrating thing about this move and the whole process – it didnt have much storage and only one door (to the bathroom but as it opened into the kitchen and took up the entire space infront of the sink it had to be replaced – we put in a louvred door).  we added five more doors – four louvred and one paneled "real" door (to the music room) and a bunch of shelves and all kinds of things.  it was a great experience -we hit it off very well and had a great time solving all the various problems that came up – and many times we had the same exact idea about a solution or a new idea – it was great fun.

however, its almost TWO months since i moved and i have only the kitchen and bathroom unpacked and setup  (well about 95% for each – kitchen needs anew floor (dont ask) and window treatments and shelves painted and bathroom needs the new door and wall shelves painted and window treatment and curtain under the sink and a new shelf unit over the toilet). 

this apt is reminding me of the first one i had in manhattan in 19xx (ahem) on West 109th street between columbus and amsterdam – and yes it WAS dreadful and scary and we were the only white girls (and southern at that) on the street – i was a very poor arts administrator .  it was in worse shape though than this one.  this one at least is structurally sound – and yes, it has a lot of what i want (the porch, patio, laundry, basement storage, rooms….)- i am just not sure if i will ever see it as a functioning apt and not a storage unit… argh . 

oh well, at least i can eat and bathe and sleep(the loft bed was built and then last week my carpenter and i made some more improvements to it) although half the time i fall asleep exhausted on the sofa.  (i got a raging cold earlier this week which knocked me out for two days).  anyway, i better try to get some sleep and tackle my bedroom today. 

ok. so i moved on august 29th and katrina hit new orleans; on august 30th we find out my sister's house is in the worst flooded section.

i unpack for the rest of the week thru labor day and then on the tuesday getting ready to go back to work i collapse with an intestinal flu which lasted for four days.

then i work all weekend and get the kitchen set up and go back to work.

on sept 22nd i have ear surgery.

its monday sept 26th, i am surrounded by packed boxes and mess and am spending the fourth day on the sofa KNOCKED out by the antibiotics the surgeon has me on. i am so sensitive to medicine that drugs really knock me for a loop. i am glad that today is the last day i have to take that particular pill. i know they are supposed to be good for you but man they wipe me out.

all this week i do ear drops and then see the surgeon on thursday to see if the operation was successful.

ok. thats all i can sit up for.
more later this week

ok.  so i moved on august 29th and katrina hit new orleans;  on august 30th we find out my sister’s house is in the worst flooded section.

i unpack for the rest of the week thru labor day and then on the tuesday getting ready to go back to work i collapse with an intestinal flu which lasted for four days. 

then i work all weekend and get the kitchen set up and go back to work.

on sept 22nd i have surgery. 

its monday sept 26th, i am surrounded by packed boxes and mess and am spending the fourth day on the sofa KNOCKED out by the antibiotics the surgeon has me on.  i am so sensitive to medicine that drugs really knock me for a loop.  i am glad that today is the last day i have to take that particular pill.  i know they are supposed to be good for you but man they wipe me out.

i see the surgeon on thursday to see if the operation was successful and how long the recovery period will be.

ok. thats all i can sit up for. more later this week

WWLTV.com – News for New Orleans

Go there for the latest news at the local level and from the folks who are experiencing it.  CNN has been doing a pretty good job but this is the REAL news, folks.

I am still plugging along unpacking and back at work and living in a very bizarre world – not only has my home changed but my childhood home has too – i feel as if i am standing in quicksand and every day its a struggle to stay upright and not let the sand pull me under .

pray, send money, write your congressman.