working in the network admin support group of the is department of a large law firm, by the end of some days – and today is one – i am often wrung out. exhausted from the constant barrage of support calls and admin tasks to be done, much less the constant strain of no privacy from corporate cubicle land and the lack of enough staff. my days often end beyond 530.

it pains me because after days like those (and today is one of them) i am almost too tired to do much of anything except drag home. but over the last year i have missed music – it used to be the primary focus of my life and then wasn’t. [insert ominous music] and for a long while it was painful to listen – but gradually that eased and then suddenly i missed it – so now i am indulging again.

i find often the more wrung out i feel, the more i need to focus on something totally sensory – even though because of my training , i listen with another critical level running constantly. enveloping my brain with a late Beethoven string quartet or the Finale of Act Two of NOZZE DI FIGARO or a Hadyn symphony, by the time i get home to park slope, i am ready to deal with my life and not the needs and demands of my workplace.

of course i envy anyone who makes his/her life in music, about music and with musicians – i wish i could, but thats another story.

and so, i give great thanks to APPLE and the ipod. i bought it primarily to listen to the many opera webcasts i have, most of which are not split into acts and thus are rather large mp3 files – the only way i was going to listen to them was by cd (which means i have to burn them – when?) or by listening to the mp3 file itself. and yes, i splurged and bought the 40G one but even if i used it just on the subway an hour each way each day that would justify it – for me anyway. (not that i need to justify it … do i?)

thanks APPLE for helping tame my beast.